Jadd mein andar jhaati paai…

Din ka ikhtatam bhi kuch ajeeb hi dhang se hota ha. Wo ek hi rang ka sooraj jo sara din asmaan par tika rehta ha, doobtay huay apnay tamaam rang aasmaan par bikhair deta ha. Rangon k is seher ko kbhi mehsoos kiya ha? Yahi pur-kashish seher mujhe roz is jheel k kinaray is narm ghaas par kheench lata ha. Meri nazrain roz udaasi or sukoon k is me’raaj ko dekhne yahan aajati hain.

Aaj bhi is narm ghaas par aankhen moondh k laitna or is shabnam ki khushboo ko mehsoos krna utna hi acha lgraha tha jitna saalon pehle lagta tha. Aaj bhi jheel k khaamosh paani se uthti 100 awaazain wese hi kaano mein mehsoos horahi theen jitni saalon pehle hoti theen. Aaj bhi nazrain asmaan par bikhray rangon k zer-e-asar wese hi theen jese salon pehle hua krti theen. Par aj kuch alag tha. Hawa mein ek khof tha. Wo khof jo koi raaz faash hojanay ka hota ha. Par aj kis par kiska raaz fash ho skta tha? Isi soch mein gum mein us narm geeli ghaas par apnay baazu phailaae laiti thi aur oopar urrtay parindon k us garoh ko dekh rahi thi jo apnay gharon ko laut raha tha, unhi mein se ek parinda neechay ki trf bohat tezi se ata mehsoos hua. Chnd hi lamhon mein wo aa kr mere pas gira. Tootay huay par ko musalsal phrpharata wo parinda bebasi ki kahani suna raha tha. Mein uthi or us ko dekha. Us ki aankhon mein mene bechaini dekhi, par un mein mujhe kisi se madad ki na umeed nazar i or na talaash. Mein usko zameen par apnay zakhm ko ragartay huay tou dekh rahi thi, par laakh dhoondnay par bhi mujhe uski aankhon mein mohtaaji nahi mili. Mene dekhi tou sirf bechaini.

Mene hath brha kr usko pakarna chaaha par mera aagay brhta wujood waheen tham gya. Uski aankhon mein mojood bechaini ab nafrat mein badalti saaf nazar arahi thi. Aaj itnay saalon mein pehli baar kuch tha jis ne meri nazrain aasmaan pe bikhray un rangon se hata kar khud ki taraf maail ki theen. Mein uski nazron mein na janay kya dekh rahi thi. Shaid us ki wo bechaini or bechaini se brh kr wo nafrat mujhe uljha rahi thi. Mujhe aas paas mojood sab kuch dhundla lagnay laga tha. Mein mazeed ulajhti ja rahi thi. Mera sun hota zehen 100 sawaalon mein ghira tha. Asmaan par oonchay se ooncha urnay wala parnida jo kisi bhi oonchaai se nahi ghbrata, zameen par q ghbra raha tha? Drd ki prwah kiyay bagair apnay tootay huay paron ko musalsal pharpharata wo akhir soch kya raha tha? Apnay zakhmon se uthti hui teson ki prwah kiye bagair wo musalsal dobara urr kr mujhse door janay ki koshish q kr raha tha? Wo akhir mujhse door q jana chahta tha? Ek dum sawaalon k is selaab se ek soch ubhar kr saamne i. Khamosh jheel ki wo 100 awaazain ab waqai khaamosh hogaeen. Ghaas per mojood shabnam ki mehek ab khoon ki boo jesi ho chuki thi. Hawa mein mehsoos hota wo raaz faash honay ka dar ab andar tak mehsoos honay laga tha. Shaid ehsaas honay laga tha k aj kis par kis ka raaz fash honay wala ha. Us parinday ki mujh par tiki wo nafrat bhari nazrain mujhe andar tak dekh rahi theen. Mujhe us se khof araha tha. Ek ajeeb c kapkapi taari horahi thi. Shaid usko mera baatin mehsoos horaha tha. Aaj us jheel k kinaray itnay saalon mein pehli baar mujhe ghutan horahi thi. Mein chahti thi k ab wo parinda waqai urr jae. Ab mein us parinday se door jana chahti thi. Us ki nazrain ab mujhe mere tamaam sawaalon ka jawab de rahi theen. Us ko bechaini us k zakhm ki drd se nahi, mere andar k chupay gunaahon ki syaahi ko dekh kr horahi thi. Mujhse door janay ki wajah ye nahi thi k usko apnay saathiyo k sath ja milna tha, wo tou mere andar ki mayoosi ki boo usko mere pas nahi rehne de rahi thi. Usko mujhse or mujhe us se mazeed ghutan horahi thi. Usko ghuttan mere baatin se horahi thi, or mujhe uski un sawaaliya nazron se jo mujhse hisaab maang rahi theen.

Sab kuch saakin tha. Meri soch jawab de chuki thi. Uski nazron mein mojood nafrat ab ek sawal nahi balkay aaina bn chuki thi. Ab sab saaf tha. Tamaam uljhanain sulajh rahi theen. Wo ab apnay par shiddat se pharphara raha tha. Uski nafrat ab khof mein badal rahi thi. Mene apnay ap ko us se door krna chaha par meri nazrain ab bhi us ki nazron mein theen. Wo hlka sa urra. mein heraan thi k itnay shadeed zakhm k bawajood esa kya tha jo us ko urnay ki himmat de raha tha. phir is aakhri sawal ka jawab bhi mujhe us ki nazron se mila. us ki nazron mein wo nafrat jo ab darr bn chuki thi, wo mere andar ki munaafiqat ki wajah se thi. or ye wo mujhse door janay ki shadeed chaahat hi thi jo usko urnay ki himmat de rahi thi. jatay huay us parinday ne mere baatin mein chupay raazon ko mujhper hi ayaan kr dia. wo apni koshish mein kamyaab tou hogya par wo jatay jatay mujhe nakaam kr gya. ek chota sa zakhmi parinda khud tou uth gya par mujhe mere hi andar kai darjay neechay gira gya.

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14 comments

  1. Shoaib · January 24, 2016

    You’re too good MA.

    Like

  2. Serpico · January 25, 2016

    This is khateen digest stuff xD but nice.

    Like

  3. The Hovering Soul · January 25, 2016

    I love the last line. ❤

    Like

  4. Aj · January 25, 2016

    In alfaazon se mehsoos houta hai k likhney wala kitna kareeb hai apny rabb k👌

    Like

  5. Jatin · January 25, 2016

    In alfazon sey mehsoos houta hai k likhny waala shaqs kitna kareeb hai apny rabb k👌

    Like

  6. aftabkhalid97 · January 26, 2016

    👍

    Liked by 1 person

  7. mehwaa · January 28, 2016

    Great stuff Fizza..:))

    Like

  8. Divakar · February 11, 2016

    Best Blog post I’ve read on internet till date.
    the way you described everything so beautifully in detail yet simply with the innocence of a child it tickled my heart to the core.

    Like

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